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Far pee it for me to assist you. *whiskey edition*

Updated: Apr 26, 2022

So you got a puppy.

A perfect, roly-poly, fuzzy, amorous, astoundingly cute little puppy. Your puppy has tiny little hedgehog paws and deep brown eyes, he wobbles around like a itty bitty drunk and has needle sharp teeth, but you love him anyway.

His very first night home you invited him right into your bed, zero hesitation - surely quicker than you'd welcomed your spouse under your sheets. In the middle of the night you're awoken by an odd, warm sensation, slowly working its way through your blanketing and coating your left buttock. You're awake, your perfect puppy's urine coating your bedding. He's just a puppy though, right? One look in those big brown eyes and you don't even remember your dampened derriere. Side note....that would never work with your spouse, just sayin’. Those deep brown eyes and drunken, playful antics entice you to do all the wrong things. You give too much freedom too quickly, never bothered to crate train, you complain that "supervision is impossible" and adamantly feel "Your puppy should know better." You never wake up for potty breaks during the night and don't bother to take your puppy outside to celebrate their gracious and fragrant contributions.

You go to bed early and sleep in late, you've never considered yourself an early bird, nor a night owl. You're more of a permanently perplexed pigeon. Your puppy however, he has endless amounts of energy, to which he usually uses to supply you with a surplus of golden cocktails and solid tubular deposits all throughout the day. He even has a "favorite spot."


Your sweet little puppy is growing up, he struts around with confidence and has a sophisticated presence, he can even balance on three legs, can you believe it?



You've been struggling with potty training for over a ......a year?


I suppose maybe it's possible that you enjoy your puppy tinkling on your great aunt Martha’s hand me down rug. Don't tell me you didn't expect him to potty there after the 26th time this week. Did it really come as a shock? Is it that you find the scrubbing of carpeting to be soothing? The kneeling, is it now an essential part of your daily exercise routine? I suppose it's possible that you find the aroma of an enzymatic pet cleaner particularly charming (reinforcers are always decided by the individual....I guess we know what yours is, it's fine, no judgment here).... whatever the reason, no matter the situation, if you're interested in redirecting your pup towards a greener alternative (I'd suggest grass.) I'm happy to help you direct them towards a more appropriate relief area, the backyard maybe? Far pee it from me to step in here, but consider checking out Wine&Whiskers for the Do's & Don'ts of potty training. We'll dry off together.

© [Jenny Wyffels], 2020. The materials on this site, ( may be copied and distributed with written permission of the copyright owner so long as our copyright notice and Website address is included.

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